Originally published on 10.12.22

Dec. 5 will mark seven years since I first came out as gay. I say first because you’re never truly done coming out. It’s something I’m sure I’ve done thousands of times at this point.

In honor of National Coming Out Day on Oct. 11, I took a moment to reflect on how I have gotten to this place of self-acceptance after years of feeling different. While the lens did point inwards at some points, I came to realize something.

Why must we come out? The answer is simple. Society has determined a “default,” and anyone who doesn’t fit into that binary is automatically deemed different and must go through the motions of coming out. But I ask again, why? What direct effect does someone loving who they love have on anyone else?

I spent three long, confusing years trying to deny who I was by pushing it down inside of me because I was taught by the world that I must fit into its box. Not by any one person, group or entity, but it was cemented into me at such a young age from all around that it was expected that I end up in a “straight” relationship and act a certain way.