Originally published on 3.22.23

You may be a bit confused this week, as you’re used to seeing a different name attached to this column. Rest assured, it’s still me, featuring my new last name. While this has been a process almost four years in the making, I finally can introduce myself to you properly. Hi, I’m Noah Kolenda!

This name change came about because I wanted to bear the name of my mother and her family, the family that raised me. Through this change in my life, I have had the opportunity to reflect a lot about family and how wide that word and its definition can be.

Family isn’t defined by biology, by birth certificate, by court document or by someone that isn’t you. Sure, those things can matter in certain circumstances, but none of them automatically make someone family. To me, I’ve come to learn over the years that family is an earned title for a system of people of your choosing that support you for who you are. You don’t owe your time or energy to people who aren’t going to give that to you.